The New year has begun on a tumultuous note for me. Its hardly what I had bargained for! The day began on a customary note with I getting up late with regards to my parents' ruthless German disciplinarian standards. However, they controlled their fury and angst and feigned normalcy. But how long would they be able to contain their kolaveri di? That was the question!
My parents are completely oblivious of the fact that I retain a great deal of respect for them in my heart despite badmouthing and back-answering them persistently. And even my retaliation and retribution is always sparked by their badgering me for reform in an indecent fashion. They always go hard at me verbally and it almost seems that they are prescribing trouble from their child. I know I am at fault due to my recalcitrant attitude which will annoy even the calmest of monks but does that give them a licence to mentally disintegrate me with their jibes?
They repent on account of the guilt stemming from the ungodly quirks hurled on me in a state of supreme disgust and frustration but the damage has already been done. I believe there always is an easier way out which unravels the conundrum without leaving a frown on anybody's face! All one has to do is to is to find that olive branch that isn't radioactive in nature.
I am the kind of person who has trouble letting go of distasteful experiences so you could say that I hold eternal grudges and why not? A truckload of wrongs can't be paid for in full by resorting to a hollow apology. Never can a person attain nirvana by simply stating that he or she was sorry for all they ever did. They could roam about scot-free presuming they have gotten rid of the mental baggage tagged guilt but it isn't that simple.
I know that my parents have a compunction about the unjust treatment meted out to me. I'll agree upon the fact that at times it was completely justifiable on their part to do whatever it takes in making me realise my folly but Now, I am firmly of the belief that I should be left to lead a life on my own terms; even if that meant writing my own epitaph or disgracing myself with my academic misadventures!
I find myself emotionally entangled on the issue of my parents. Make no mistake, I really adore, admire and love them from the molten core of my heart. But for them, I wouldn't even have existed! They have been my caretakers, my protectors, my saviours, my providers, my emotional backbone, my perennial source of inspiration and everything else that would entitle them to become the most important people in my life. They are the most bankable people on this earth for me and yet I have this strange feeling of being unreasonable whenever a matter concerning them pops into my head.
I can never ever entertain any thought that either despises or vilifies them. Yet, at times I find them being irrational. There's no denying the fact they possess much more experience in dealing with worldly matters and are equipped with such quintessential acumen to face the world that is obviously lacking in me yet in certain matters it almost seems like they are turning a blind eye towards what seems like the most plausible option or explanation.
Take the most recent example for instance, I was sleeping away to glory when the day was just beginning to ripe and my mother instructs me to stay awake and do nothing just because she likes it that way! I might also mention here that I was done with my breakfast, had bathed and cleaned with no chore left to chance whatsoever and here she was wanting me out of my hibernation when I was bothering nobody, let alone a fly.
She kept calling me out and I responded in the affirmative never quite bothering to actually drive away my soporificity and the ultimate result was not at all pleasant.
When I finally went to her, she was almost possessed by a furious diabolical spectre! she lashed out at me for all that was wrong with my life and I continually pleaded her to end this onslaught for the sake of the Gregorian Calender's New Year. But she wouldn't buy any of my arguments and the squabble relentlessly carried on until a phone call, a welcome disturbance, diffused the volatile atmosphere. But this incident fired me up and I decided I wouldn't give a damn!
As the day progressed, things started to look like limping back to normalcy but this was just an illusion. Inception on HBO was nearing its climax when my father exploded at me. My mother's tell-all telephonic conversation with my aunt leaked a well-hidden secret to my father that I hadn't fared well in the Half-Yearly college examinations. He lambasted me from being a couch potato and ridiculed my indifference towards studies.
What happened next isn't quite predictable. I magically retained my cool and kept mum. He also let his guard down and became a bit sombre. After another inexplicable argument between my parents this time, the bitter ensuing drama finally drew to a close.
After a reconcilliatory discussion and a dinner later, it became evident that all this was apparently needless when things could have been sorted out in a much more polite manner.
I am trying to draw a worthwhile conclusion here. No matter whatever machinates between my parents and myself, we always patch up. I remember the misdemeanour and so do they but it is all forgotten in good spirit.
Such is my parental dilemma and it shall never cease to be!
