Sunday 18 July 2010

PITY,PITY AND MORE PITY

HELLO THERE ! its been a long time since the last time when i blogged. Truly it has been a roller-coaster ride of sorts: the previous academic year and its mainly courtsey me. Over the past one year i have realized what it takes to waste oneself completely and what disastrous ramifications it can have on your mind, body and soul. I felt emotionally drained all the time and had acquired the traits of a perpetual loser. I felt listless and terrible all the time. All my thought process revolved around me not being able to perform to the desired levels of a 95.4% student who had also scored the highest marks in science in his tenth standard. But being pragmatic, one should realise that resting on one's past laurels doesn't gurantee success only inspiration and the motivation that you have it in you what it takes to reach the top. I was and also am in present times quite frustrated with myself of all my conspicuous shortfalls that of being HARDCORE HEDONIST and being vagrant and capricious at all times. My attitude had worsened and so did my marks which took a plunge into the mariana trench i believe ! I could see identiify no real friends in my immediate vicinity and my realtions with my ex-peers also soured. It was this kind of a helpless situation in which an ant is trapped into a quicksand and is unable to venture out of the same despite feverish efforts. The situation was and still is in situ. My present condition is ironic and quite inexplicable. I know where i stand and i also feel humiliated that i am doing precious little to invigorate the dormant me. It has begun to seem like ages when everything in my life was picture perfect. My life has been marred by a spate of avoidable events which have taken a deadly diabolic & catastrophic toll on my current state of affairs. I barely managed to scrape through my eleventh standard, still perhaps it hasn't dawned on me that i ought to stabilize myself lest i should kill all my abilities. I may seem to groan and moan all the time but you see thats how it all is at the moment. Nevertheless i know that by looking at the positives of my life, i could cheer myself up a little. XII standard began on a positive note with the Physics unit test marks reading a not so dismal 18/25 which were a result of some last minute scrounging through Mrs. Borkar's notes and the ubiquitous NCERT textbook. I sign off with a promise (hopefully this won't be shattered) that i'll post something interesting and substantial next time (when ? I myself ain't aware as the EU tour diary remains pending even after constant resolves courtsey - PROCRASTINATION: MY NEMESIS OF ALL TIMES AND SOME HORRIBLE TIME MANAGEMENT). So till the next time, here's wishing loads of luck to all my readers (Optimistic me hehe ) ....

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